Wandering Thoughts

Sometimes you have to step away.

Some days you may need to be the builder.

Yet, other days you may need to be the architect.

And, no doubt, many days you will be both architect and builder

Of your career, of love, of life, of memories, of loss, of happiness

And so much more.

You will taste failure from time to time 

Its putrid smell and sourness leaving an afterbite you won’t quickly forget

And more than likely, a lesson learned will be a guest at your table

You will look for the expiration date on said failure, shocked to find that it doesn’t have one

Because it can come at anytime

But you are strong and resilient and you will take a seat at the table

Again and again

And when you do, you will find the secret ingredient

To success

You will delight in its recipe

Its sweet and savory flavor will be like no other

Filling you up and perhaps even causing you to seek

Seconds, even thirds

What will you choose?

Who will you choose?

What is it that you desire?

Did you find it at the table where you sat so patiently?

Or did life lead you down an unexpected path?

Perhaps you sat at more than one table

Maybe you waited

Perhaps you got anxious at having to wait

But eventually, it arrived

As you sat in the silence, did you hear the whispers, the echoes, the call?

One day you may wake, and everything is different

So you say to yourself, “If we aren’t supposed to mold our life, then why do we possess clay?”

For which life will smile, and say:

Design. Build. Fortify. 

Shape your clay. 

Create.

Choose what it is you want to build

And choose you – always

But know this:

The mold, well, it may break from time to time.

A crack may appear, the color may fade, and the design may seem dated.

But the clay is still there underneath the surface. 

It is malleable, and in its malleability, it offers opportunity.

Life will shift.

Uncertainty will veil what you once knew

You may feel as though you’ve vomited all night

And then the world vomited on you

And you will wonder, “why?”

You may ask, “How can this be?”

Doubt may enter

But you will show it the exit

Because courage will guide you

Don’t be afraid to explore.

Change is the constant knocking at your door

You decide whether to open it.

Know that what you feel or don’t feel often is more profound than you may think

Signs will present themselves

But you may not always see them – at first

Your lens may get cloudy

Eyes may redden, burn, and water from too much we wish we could unsee

And bodies may collapse in exhaustion from too many detours in one journey

“But we’ve weathered so much,” you may say 

To which life may reply:

Storms are always imminent

They linger in the air 

They lie in wait

Their tumultuous reign may wreak havoc on the most vital part of your core

But you are stronger

In the whisper of the night, you will sigh from a mind restless with what-ifs

But you will rest knowing that you tried

As you peek out at the midnight sky

It whispers good night

And you smile 

Because you’ve been here before

Photo by Jake Weirick on  Unsplash